Evil flubbapoke

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 02:19:25 GMT

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I lovable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?

Journal

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 19:13:23 GMT

This journal is going bye bye, I have created a new one. If you want to know what it is then get in contact with me, you all know how, and if you don't then obviously your not important enough or if you really wanna know then post and I may consider your request. Other than that, today I got to park planes again at the airport and I got to have fun with the luggage and convey belt cars, they are so much fun! Then I heard my favorite song on the radio and that made me happy!

apparently i am a fighter and i am proud of it!

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 23:18:37 GMT

There can not be Triumph
Without Loss
No Victory
Without Suffering
No freedom
Without Sacrifice
Who will stand and who will fall?
Hmm I don't know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult. I choose the former.
OOOOOOooooo ladadada la daaaa daaaaaa ladadadada laladalda ldaldalda I was clean my room until i got high. I love this song lol. especially with my smirnoff in my hand! weeee!

hmmmm

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 21:09:16 GMT

hmmm very interesting,
In any case, I am feeling better, I got my memories back so now I can put them all in a nice box and into my closet! I feel like a huge wait has been lifted off of my shoulders. I still love her, but ya know what she doesn't want me so I will just let it go, ya it stings, ya it hurts, but I am feeling better and more level and I am going to sailing and go out bar hopping, so I am going to go have some fun! Peace

lyrics

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 19:22:38 GMT

Wanna love ya
Wanna bug ya
Wanna squeeze ya
Stupid girl

Wanna touch ya,
Wanna take ya,
Wanna shut ya,
Stupid girl.

I can't take this,
Born to break this.

She's going away,
(She's going away)
What's wrong with my life today?
She's going away,
(She's going away)
What's wrong with my life today?
Stupid girl, Stupid girl

I'm a loner,
I'm a loser,
I'm a winner,
In my mind.

I'm a bad one,
I'm a good one,
I'm a sick one,
With a smile.

I can't take this,
Born to break this.

She's going away,
(She's going away)
What's wrong with my life today?
She's going away,
(She's going away)
What's wrong with my life today?
Stupid girl, Stupid girl

[acoustic break]
Stupid girl, Stupid girl

(whoa)

She's going away,
(She's going away)
What's wrong with my life today?
She's going away,
(She's going away)
What's wrong with my life today?
Stupid girl, Stupid girl

BURNING IN HELL!

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 19:19:28 GMT

She burns

Today's on fire
The sky is bleeding above me, and I am blistered
I walk these lines of blasphemy, every day
And still

Like a bad star, I'm falling faster down to her
She's the only one who knows, what it is to burn

I feel diseased
Is there no sympathy from the sun?
The sky's still fire
But I am safe in here, from the world outside

So tell me
What's the price to pay for glory?

Like a bad star, I'm falling faster down to her
She's the only one who knows, what it is to burn

Today is fire, and she burns
Today is fire, and she burns
She burns
She burns
She burns
She burns
She burns
She burns

Like a bad star, I'm falling faster down to her
She's the only one who knows, what it is to burn

I am now burning in hell, but oh well I will live, To everyone who has hurt me, betrayed me, made me scream in pain, congradulations! You have all won!

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 04:25:05 GMT

How to make a Rob

Ingredients:

1 part competetiveness

3 parts crazyiness

5 parts leadership

Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of emotion and enjoy!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Grrr!

Mon, 14 Jun 2004 20:48:00 GMT

Damnit! freaking people calling me, parents hounding me, working, trying to get things organized and operational, trying to keep my mind off everything that seems to be going wrong! GRRRR! damn I hate mondays! lol I should just turn into Garfield the cat. That would be the life, sitting around all day in the sun, going on trips and just napping and playing all day, damn i miss childhood, oh well so far I have grossed over 1,000 dollars this summer! Yippie! That means I can afford my apartment and security deposit and a bed and a desk lol. Ya well the worst day in the entire world is coming this week *hides* maybe I will just not wake up that day and sleep over it *peers out* that would be nice and ideal! I NEED SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. Well the other good news is that the scheduel for Ryc is done! Yey!!!!! and I am going to canada on saturday and staying until sunday. I am not doing nething on friday tho...:( *sigh* newhoo Im going to start working on my comp again. If Im not online for a few days it is because I am completly rebuilding the damn thing.

Another set of cool lyrics that I like

Sun, 13 Jun 2004 16:13:29 GMT

Memories consume like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume, I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight...

Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more, than any time before
I have no options left again

I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight…

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight...

Cool song shinedown, 45

Sun, 13 Jun 2004 03:37:28 GMT

Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
Keep these feelings, no one knows

What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain as he slowly fell apart

And I'm staring down the barrell of a .45 (.45)
Swimming through the ashes of another life (another life)
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrell of a .45

Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high upon a shelf
Left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain as he slowly fell apart

And I'm staring down the barrell of a .45 (.45)
Swimming through the ashes of another life (another life)
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrell of a .45

Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
Nobody knows what I believe
I believe

And I'm staring down the barrell of a .45 (.45)
Swimming through the ashes of another life (another life)
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrell of a .45

And I'm staring down the barrell of a .45 (.45)
And I'm swimming through the ashes of another life (another life)
There is no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrell of a .45

wow

Sun, 13 Jun 2004 00:14:43 GMT

wow lol, this wasn't "melodramatic bullshit", lol these were quotes that I liked and or wrote lol. As for a war, lol wow. Talking about blowing things out of proportions. So for once I am just going to take the high road, and if you don't like my journal or what is in it, then simply don't read it lmao. The journal wasn't meant to please you lol, that wasn't why I created it in the first place. It was merely an outlet for me to write whatever I feel like, and it changes daily and sometimes not at all. So if you don't like it then well don't read it...how simple is that? I don't control what my friends do and as far as I am concerned, I really don't care what your opionons are. If I cared for your opinions then I would ask, or I would friend you to see more private entries but since both of you belong to neither of these groups your input is not valued. I wasn't depressed when I put these quotes up. I was actually reading one of my favorite books and found some quotes that I wrote while cleaning my room, so here is my suggestion to the both of you. GROW UP! Your like what 20 and I don't think either of you go to college. Lol come speak to me when you are actually refined and or educated. I don't have my hitman do work for me lol, if I did that might actually be more profitable hmmmmm, I should start a business, that would be amusing. Both your posts are amusing. Thanks both of you for making me laugh lol.

quotes continued

Sat, 12 Jun 2004 16:44:40 GMT

Love is an odd thing. As odd a thing as there is.

There is an old saying here in the Borderlands: 'Better to have one woman on your side than ten men.
*I guess I forgot that...:(*

Twice and twice shall he be marked,
twice to live and twice to die.
Once the heron to set his path.
Twice the heron to name him true.
Once the dragon, for remembrance lost.
Twice the dragon, for the price he must pay

He was a soldier. He was a sheperd. He was a beggar, and a king. He was farmer, gleeman, sailor, carpenter. He was born, lived, and died a Warrior. He died mad, he died rotting, he died of sickness, accident, age. He was executed, and multitudes cheered his death. He proclaimed himself the Dragon and flung his banner across the sky; he ran from the Power and hid; he lived and died, never knowing anything of what could be.

There has to be a price, There is always a price. Perhaps I can pay it here. It is every man's right, to choose when to Sheathe the Sword.

And men cried out to the Creator, saying, O Light of the Heavens, Light of the World, let the promised One be born of the mountain, according to the Prophecies, as he was in Ages past and will be in Ages to come. Let the Prince of the Morning sing to the land that green things will grow and the valleys give forth lambs. Let the arm of the Lord of the Dawn shelter us from the Dark, and the great sword of justice defend us. Let the Dragon ride again on the winds of time.

He was tall and hard, broad-shouldered, with blue eyes like frozen mountain lakes, and he moved with a deadly grace that made the sword on his hip seem a part of him. It was not that he seemed merely capable of violence and death; this man had tamed violence and death and kept them in his pocket, ready to be loosed in a heartbeat

Who can know the heart of a man? Not even he himself, I suspect. A man is the easiest animal to put on a leash, and the hardest to keep leashed. Even when he chooses it himself.

Would you put your head in a bear's mouth just to show you weren't afraid? Would you do it twice just beause you'd done it once and didn't die?

'One pretty woman means fun at the dance. Two pretty women mean trouble in the house. Three pretty women mean run for the hills!

Death comes for us all. We can only choose how to face it when it comes

Rumor is the voice of the people, and the voice of the people often speaks truth

Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forge

This time, we do not run. We dare not run. Worlds and times rest on him, on the Dragon. This time, we fight!

With his coming are the dread fires born again. The hills burn, and the land turns sere. The tides of men run out, and the hours dwindle. The wall is pierced, and the veil of parting raised. Storms rumble beyond the horizon, and the fires of heaven purge the earth. There is no salvation without destruction, no hope this side of death.

Why was it women could go to pieces or fly into rage at the smallest thing, yet never flicker an eyelash at what left you gaping?

You have made a place in my heart where I thought there was no room for anything else. You have made flowers grow where I cultivated dust and stones. Remember this, on this journey you insist on making. If you die, I will not survive you long.

If you plan for the worst, all surprises are pleasant

more quotes

Sat, 12 Jun 2004 16:19:45 GMT

Sometimes you have to grab the wolf by the ears.
When you have a wolf by the ears, it's as hard to let go, as to hold on.

Whether the wolf beats the bear, or the bear beats the wolf, the rabbit always loses.

I suppose I should thank you for teaching me how true the old saying is. Teach him how you will, a pig will never play the flute."
Wheel of time

You'll use it, boy, and as long as you hate using it, you would use it more wisely than most men would. Wait. If ever you don't hate it any longer, then will be the time to throw it as far as you can and run the other way.

The Wheel of Time weaves the Patterns of the Ages, and the threads it uses are lives. It is not fixed, the Pattern, not always. If a man tries to change the direction of his life and the Pattern has room for it, the Wheel just weaves on and takes it in. There is always room for small changes, but sometimes the Pattern simply won't accept a big change, no matter how hard you try...
... But sometimes the change chooses you, and sometimes the Wheel bends a life-thread, or several threads, in such a way that all the surrounding threads are forced to swirl around it, and those force other threads, and those still others, and on and on. The first bending to make the Web is ta'veren, and there is nothing you can do to change it, not until the Pattern itself changes. The Web - ta'maral'ailen, it's called - can last for weeks, or for years. It can take in a town, or even the whole Pattern

The rose petal floats on water. The kingfisher flashes above the pond. Life and beauty swirl in the midst of death.

All I have is a sword, and a war I cannot win, but can never stop fighting
will never shame you. I will hate the man you choose because he is not me, and love him if he makes you smile. No woman deserves the sure knowledge of widow's black as her brideprice, you least of all.

some quotes

Sat, 12 Jun 2004 16:09:39 GMT

"Never regret anything that once made u smile-and never give up on something u can't go a day without thinking about."

"The truth is everyone is going to hurt u....u just have to decide who is worth the pain."

My quotes, so true and if your reading this then you are worth the pain. You always have been and always will.

hmmm

Sat, 12 Jun 2004 15:44:31 GMT

Ya I don't know what to put in this entry, I suppose it is just rambling so I am rambling lalalalala. Im hurt, I am sad, I am angry, I am tired, My muscles hurt, I feel as if a part of me has died all over again. Maybe it is for the best or maybe it is for the worst. I just hope that you can find someone who will treat you with more love and compassion than I did.

hurt

Fri, 04 Jun 2004 02:47:22 GMT

when you are ready to talk, to not leave me. Then come find me, I will be here when u want to talk, Im sorry for yelling at you. Im just hurt that I try to do so much and be there for you ,and then you tell me u don't feel love,but u love me and generally im just confused about your feelings. Im hurt that I do nice things for you but then you cry and whine and yell at me for telling you my plans to find a place to live for next year. Im sorry for bitching about working so long but I am tired! Its not the same old shit from me, I came and stopped by and you started yelling. I love you, but do u love me is the question.

Pissed

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 04:31:47 GMT

Shouldn't a true friend not take advantage of their "best friend" when they are vulnerable? Shouldn't they be caring and not take advantage of the situation? God some people really do piss me off. Then they go and hurt the person worse by making them feel like shit. Wow some people really do piss me off more than words can express, fuck the emo music now give me rock because im pissed! Trying to coerce a close friend to do that shit when they are vulnerable, wow thats low. Ahh well another person to put on the shit list. My list is growing long rather quick lol damn the human race lmao. Ahh well i figure all the people on my shitlist are going to hell because they are worse than I so I will see them all there! Then I will have an eternaty to give them payback mwahahahaaaa

squirel i thought i was a sexy hampster! grr

Mon, 31 May 2004 22:13:06 GMT

LOOK OUT!
ïòð

apoc985 is a radioactive squirrel!!

From Go-Quiz.com

Mon, 31 May 2004 06:05:13 GMT

Get your own Meme Meme!

Lyrics gotta love linkin park

Mon, 31 May 2004 05:41:29 GMT

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

[Bridge:]
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

[Bridge:]
I dont want to be the one
Who battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

[Bridge:]
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

[Chorus:]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit
Tonight

Tired

Sun, 30 May 2004 21:07:37 GMT

I am exhausted, 7 hrs of work today was exhausting and the sun while very nice takes alot of out you, just generally right now I am completly drained. *yawn* mayber I will go take a nap. Well thats about all I got right now.

Full of crap

Sat, 29 May 2004 20:41:10 GMT

you yell at me for blocking me but then you go and block me thats real nice. Maybe instead of being mean and cruel for a change you should be nice. You get more bees with honey then with a bat.

Nice coping mechanism

Sat, 29 May 2004 17:17:32 GMT

Nice coping mechanism, pretending that I don't exist or that you don't exist, lol thats why u don't want to see me because I will prove at least to your senses that I exist lol thats funny. Wow lol psych class must not have taught u much lol.

Your question

Sat, 29 May 2004 16:54:32 GMT

Your question, why? How am I supposed to answer such a general question? Then you get pissed at me because I can't answer it.Or don't know what it refers to, instead of specifying you get pissed. Grow up seriously.

Tell me

Sat, 29 May 2004 03:07:03 GMT

Look if u need to vent and yell and scream at me then fine, i understand, but please do it in person at least I will even drive out so you can do so. Tell me what you want please. You say you don't want to talk to me, you don't want anything to do with me but then you get mad when i block u to respect you and then forget to unblock you on one of my other sns. I apologize for forgetting to. I know you have no reason to read this journal anymore, but if you do could you please let me know what you want. I also ask from the bottom of my heart for one favor, if you want to, i know u have no reason to honor it or anything, but I would really like to go see Shrek2 or any movie with you. I know you are full of anger and hurt and pain, I know I am the cause of most, if not all the emotions you feel, but I ask for the chance to remedy them. I do love you, with all of my heart, body and soul. With everything that I have, I ask you to please consider this request. It doesn't even have to be a movie, it could be just sitting on the grass talking with you, I know it is hard, it is hard for me to, but please just consider it. Please put ur bias and anger aside for a minute and please think about it. I do miss you, more than anything, since I haven't seen you it has been some of the hardest times of my life. Please consider it. I promise no fighting, no crying, I promise just a good time and fun, please, please consider it.
No matter what you think of me, I will always love you, no matter what
I will show you my love if you let me
I was scared, I screwed up,
I do trust u
I do love you
I do miss you
I miss you more and more each day
Not a day goes by when I don't think about you
I was a boy, but now I am a man can't you see?
I understand if your answer is no, but please let me know either way.
I am not perfect, not even close, but when I am with you, I am happy, and I can make you happy. I can make you feel loved, if you just honestly gave me another chance, with no biasis going in saying he can't do it. Give me one chance, give me one night, just the two of us, I can show you the world. If that night goes to your liking and satisfaction then maybe we could have another night just the two of us and see how it goes. I hope you don't think that is unreasonable. But please just consider it.